Why men have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on ever since ancient times. Affairs can be loaded with problems, cause misery, and other harms. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, money, age difference, faith upbringing, remorse, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I will classify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married woman.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek affairs. I am sure mainly though it is only the human state, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us escape the world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone are able to turn the craving on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos people has erected against affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the rage of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your spouse or anyone else? You would need to lessen the threat you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major grouping, very big really. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they feel comfy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your assets are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a regular cause I fear. One or the other, usually the guy is sexually neglecting his spouse for a tones of reasons. As a male I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us males of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is disappeared, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply grown distantly, our general concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposite of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair